Tag Archives: Senior Care

Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

Coping with the Emotional Toll of Moving a Parent to Assisted Living

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Family caregivers need support to handle the emotional toll.

My friend Lana is on the emotional roller coaster of moving her mom to assisted living. Coupled with holiday stress, it’s taking quite a toll. Like most seniors, Lana’s mom would rather live in her own home. However, her functioning declined to the point that she fell several times, leading to multiple trips to the emergency room. Lana fretted over the decision to look for another living arrangement for her mom. Fortunately, guidelines helped identify when it was time.

Assisted living may be called for if a senior has difficulty performing tasks of daily life, such as:

  1. Basic personal care tasks, such as bathing, dressing, toileting, eating.
  2. Paying the bill, handling the mail, preparing meals, cleaning, and transportation outside the house.

Furthermore, a worsening medical condition may lead to a lack of activity, falls, incontinence, and poor nutrition, as was the case with Lana’s mom. After yet another hospitalization, it was time; however, the emotional toll has been heavy with grief, doubt, regret, and guilt.

Author Liz O’Donnell offers these strategies to ease the transition.

  1. Give it time. It takes from three to six months to adjust.
  2. Ask friends or family to help.
  3. Expect setbacks. Ups and downs are typical. Allow yourself to feel discomfort with the fact you can’t fix it.
  4. Be a good listener of your parent’s concerns and feelings.
  5. Surround your loved one in familiar belongings from home. Limit new things. The situation is all new.
  6. Advocate for your parent to help build a team. Let them know who your parent is and what her preferences are.
  7. Set boundaries. Decide what you are willing and able to do and stick with it.

Finally, Kathy Dreyer’s recent blog post offers these words of wisdom from her own experience of managing the emotional toll of moving her mom to a facility.  “Let go of what you can. Acceptance can bring relief, whether it is in accepting help or accepting changes.”

What do you believe is essential to help ease the emotional toll of moving a loved one to long term care?

Ann Catlin, OTR, LMT: For twenty years, Ann led in the field of skilled touch in eldercare and hospice. She has nearly forty years’ clinical experience as an occupational and massage therapist. She created Age-u-cate’s Compassionate Touch program and now serves as a Master Trainer and training consultant.

Hospital Professionals, Senior Care Professionals

How to Prevent People in Nursing Homes from Becoming Invisible?

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People in care can often feel invisible.

People living in nursing homes become “invisible” when they are regarded as feeble-minded and lacking in the ability to contribute to society in a meaningful way.

I once met a man named Frank, who lived in a skilled nursing facility, and his memory still haunts me. I noticed him because he wasn’t particularly old, and he was tall and muscular. He was sitting in a corner in the hallway near the nurses’ station. By his appearance, it seemed he had suffered a stroke.   The following day I noticed Frank sitting in the same spot– for hours, just sitting there.  He had no real interaction with anyone and pushed restlessly on the wheelchair footrests. He couldn’t propel the wheelchair himself. Lots of people passed by, but no one paid him much mind. To me, he seemed lonely, frustrated, and, yes, invisible.

I felt drawn to offer him a Compassionate Touch. I pulled up a chair introducing myself. He immediately looked me in the eye. He had trouble with language, but he could, with effort, carry on a conversation. A Vietnam veteran, Frank grew up in Illinois. He believed his age to be 37, moreover, other signs of confusion were there, too.  I held his stroke-affected hand. He was receptive to the touch. I gently rubbed his shoulders and back, and he told me it felt good.

At the end of our time together I asked him if he would like to sit somewhere else. He pointed to a spot about six feet away that was near a table, so, I maneuvered his wheelchair around so he could reach the table with his hands. He reached out took hold of a newspaper, and proceeded to read it. He engaged in something purposeful.  The restlessness stopped.   As I left, he said, “thank you for stopping.”

Frank still haunts me. He likely sat in that same corner spot the next day, invisible again. So, how do we prevent people like Frank from becoming “invisible”? In closing, Alisoun Milne, a gerontology academic in the UK, tells us, “There is evidence that well-trained staff can build up relationships with residents that help to reduce reliance on medication and the need for acute medical care. Because the more you know about the person in that chair, the more likely you are to see them as rounded human beings, and the less risk there is of neglect.”

Ann Catlin, OTR, LMT: For twenty years, Ann led in the field of skilled touch in eldercare and hospice. She has nearly forty years’ clinical experience as an occupational and massage therapist. She created Age-u-cate’s Compassionate Touch program and serves as a Master Trainer and training consultant.

Senior Care Professionals

Alzheimer’s Disease: What Would Maslow Say?

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Human needs remain intact regardless of age, situation, or condition.

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who taught that survival needs must come before social or spiritual needs. Alzheimer’s disease impacts all these needs, for instance, as in a woman named Faye.

The need for physical survival. Faye relied on caregivers to assist with physical needs. 

The need to have personal security and to feel safe.  Faye didn’t recall recent events, so she didn’t realize where she was. Memories of past experience faded.

The need for a sense of belonging and connection to others. Faye had been active in her church.  The move to a nursing home separated her from familiar people and consequently became withdrawn and anxious.

The need to express feelings and have them acknowledged.  Alzheimer’s decreases a person’s ability to express thoughts. Faye was frustrated because care-partners didn’t understand her.

The need to give to others and to be treated with respect.  We all need to feel useful. We thrive with mutual understanding and respect.  However, people with Alzheimer’s may believe they have nothing to contribute.

The need for a sense of self and a connection to spirit. Many assume that Alzheimer’s robs people of their identity.  Although memory and cognition become impaired, it appears that the person living with dementia seems to retain a sense of self—the essence of who he or she is.

In conclusion, understanding human needs may help us to be a little more empathetic with people living with Alzheimer’s disease.

Ann Catlin, OTR, LMT: For twenty years, Ann led in the field of skilled touch in eldercare and hospice. She has nearly forty years’ clinical experience as an occupational and massage therapist. She created Age-u-cate’s Compassionate Touch program and serves as a Master Trainer and training consultant.

Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

Can Computer Access in Long Term Care Improve Quality of Life?

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The importance of computer access for people living in long term care facilities is on the rise.  As the number of seniors using technology increases, so will use of personal computers, smart phones, tablets and social media no matter where they live. One study found that among people 65 and older:

  • Four-in-ten  own smartphones.
  • 67% have internet access in their homes.
  • 32% own tablet computers.
  • 34% use social media regularly.

Those numbers will likely increase as baby boomers age.  Anyone working in senior services see instances where technology access enhances quality of life.

I once volunteered at the Rowe Sanctuary in Nebraska,  along the Platte River. Thousands of Sand Hill Cranes gather there on their way north.  People from around the world visit to witness this spectacle.  I was given the task of operating what is called the Crane Cam.  It is a remote camera on the river. Its images are sent to the web through the National Geographic website.  While operating the camera, a couple approached.  I explained how it all worked. The woman said her mother was in a nursing home in another state. She  has been an avid bird and visited the sanctuary several times. However, now that she is in a facility she could no longer bird watch. Her daughter had recently set up a computer in her mother’s room .  Her mother could now look in on the Cranes via the internet!

A man I provided Compassionate Touch sessions to for several years used a PC to write poetry and letters to his family. He was a successful business man in his career. His desk and computer helped retain part of his identity that was important to him.

A young man with cerebral palsy who lives in a facility regularly plays games and records music on his PC . Sounds like a typical 20 year old, doesn’t it?.  His keyboard is modified compensating for his poor coordination, therefore he manages  independently.

I think we will see more individuals in facility care with personal computers.  It might serve to lessen the feelings of isolation and boredom that plague so many who must reside in long term care.

What are your thoughts about the link between technology and quality of life for those in facility care?

Ann Catlin, OTR, LMT: For twenty years, Ann led in the field of skilled touch in eldercare and hospice. She has nearly forty years’ clinical experience as an occupational and massage therapist. She created Age-u-cate’s Compassionate Touch program and serves as a Master Trainer and training consultant.