Tag Archives: Caregiver

Family Caregiver, Hospital Professionals, Senior Care Professionals

What Would Life be Like if You were a Resident for a Day?

Leave a comment

What would life be like if you stepped into the world of a resident in long-term care?   Perhaps it would awaken us to the fact that they see things much differently than we do.  Maybe it would make us understand their experiences, challenges, and thought processes.  Do you think that we might be more empathetic?  Gosh, I hope so.

Let’s look at what being a resident for a day might teach us. 

Waking up to a room that is not “mine” is frightening.  It reminds me that I’m not in my home anymore where I felt secure and loved.

No one ever referred to me as honey.  I don’t like to be called honey.  I have a name – one that I’ve had all my life.  Please call me by my REAL name!

Those loud noises scare the daylights out of me!  I’ve never liked sirens, and I feel like that’s all I hear – ALL day long.

Contrary to what you may believe, getting naked and having someone help me bathe myself is not normal.  I feel like I’m on display.  Yes, it makes me anxious and this is sometimes why I just don’t want to take a shower!

For that matter,  having someone change my diapers is about 10 times more embarrassing as getting naked.

Eating with people I don’t know is not my idea of enjoying a meal.  Where’s my glass of wine?  And goodness sakes, I’ve never liked peas and not about to start liking them now.  So please, dear, don’t ask me to finish up my vegetables.  It’s not going to happen.

Don’t take this personally, but all these activities won’t make me less bored.  What would make me less bored is being able to do something I actually enjoy – like tending a garden or some ballroom dancing or designing bridges as I did in my career.   Now, these are things I still LOVE to do.  I don’t like playing bingo.  I’ll never like playing bingo.  Not EVER.

Now that you see the world through a different lens, can you see what being a resident for a day might teach us?

It will help us understand the feelings of emptiness and loss they are experiencing.

It might give us a perspective of dignity and how important that is to what makes us feel whole and complete.

Perhaps it will open our eyes to the fact that, despite their frailty, illness or state of mind, that they have interests, and it might not be anything like someone else’s and that’s okay.  We just need to tap into what it is that makes them smile.

Maybe you will see that feeling secure and respected by their care partners can actually bring a new relationship that is meaningful for both of you.

Being a resident for a day may not be easy, but it will certainly open our eyes to empathy, understanding and new perspectives that will improve the care we deliver.

Pam Brandon is President and Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older adults and those who serve them.  She is the creator of the Dementia Live® simulation and awareness program and co-directed the development of the Compassionate Touch® skilled touch program, both being implemented by care provider internationally.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Faith Community, Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

Renewal, Rebirth and Regrowth…Hope for Caregivers

Leave a comment

Despite our disappointments, struggles, and unknowns, we must cling to hope – for renewal, rebirth, and regrowth.  This season brings hope as we witness new blossoms, trees budding and renewed faith.  Caregivers need to above all, cling to their hope that this journey you are on will bring new blessings, opportunities for personal growth, and strength to carry on your important work.

I certainly know from personal experience that this is not easy, and the journey is often long, hard and often anything but hopeful.   I have a dear friend now who is going through the depths of darkness in her own caregiving journey with her husband and life partner who is losing his battle with stage 4 glioblastoma.  Being there as a friend, mentor, confidant and soundboard is probably one of the most helpful roles I can play right now.  I certainly cannot fix today, but I can lend small nugget of hope and assurance to her that she needs to get through today and the difficulties that she may face tomorrow.

As caregivers, we belong to a larger community.  When we connect with others we can lend that ear, or hug, or shoulder to cry on or laugh with.  When we do that for others, we offer one another the assurance that they are not alone on this often lonely journey.

This simple message today is to encourage all of you to reach out- to a family member, neighbor, friend, colleague, or even a stranger.  We all know someone struggling.   Just your presence can brighten another’s day, whether they are caring for someone else or themselves.  Just your presence, warm smile and a gentle touch can lend strength to another in ways that are often immeasurable.

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older and adults and those who serve them.  www.AGEucate.com

 

Dementia Live, Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

How to Improve Communications via Empathetic Listening

Leave a comment

Empathetic listening is defined as a method via which you can prevent or manage disruptive or challenging behaviors.  Caregivers can benefit from practicing empathetic listening, especially with people living with dementia.   The result will be improved communications and reduced stress for both care partners.

  1. Be present, and attend the conversation at hand. If you’re multi-tasking, or preparing your response instead of listening to the speaker, then you will only experience the conversation at a superficial level. You’ll miss cues as to what the other person is feeling, and your cognitive empathy will feel forced or faked. Attend the moment.
  2. Don’t be judgmental. If a person has taken the time to share their personal experiences with you, honor that vulnerability by being open to their perspective.
  3. Pay attention to the speaker, their facial expressions, and their body language. Your understanding of these cues is instinctual; you simply have to allow yourself to be open to them. If they’re happy, sad, afraid, or upset, take note of that emotion, and respond to it. Your response to their emotional state is even more important than your response to the words they use, because the majority of communication is non-verbal in nature.
  4. Be quiet and patient. Don’t jump into any break and begin speaking, because not every statement needs an immediate response. This is never truer than in a tense situation that involves the speaker venting over some hurt. You’ll often find that if you simply allow the silence to linger after a break in the tirade, they’ll break the silence themselves and offer a solution.
  5. Make sure you actually understand the issue at hand. Ask questions, attempt to clarify their meaning, and restate the message you perceive them to be communicating.

As we enter this holiday season of family gatherings and changed schedules, it’s important that families and friends practice these tools.  Remember  that someone living with dementia thinks, feels and acts differently, especially under stress.  As caregivers it is ultimately our job to change how we think, feel and act!

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older adults and those that serve them.  

www.AGEucate.com

 

Compassionate Touch®, Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

What’s all the Talk about Mindfulness for Caregivers?

Leave a comment

Call it awareness, attention, focus, presence, or vigilance. It’s proving to be a powerful and effective practice in coping with stress.  Caregiving can easily top the charts on stress, especially for caregivers of elders with chronic illness and dementia.  Mindfulness for caregivers means learning to live in the moment, accept the reality of a situation, and filter out distractions.

Mindfulness is not necessarily about a constant state of meditation, or practicing yoga, although these are both proven tools in helping one to better cope with life’s challenges.

We can practice mindfulness by sharpening our focus.  In our Compassionate Touch® training, we call this centering.  For a caregiver it might be deep breathing or focused meditation before entering the room when an older adult is agitated, confused or combative.  Learning to leave your other worries at the door will help to focus on how you can help the person you are caring for.  You have, for that moment, stepped into their world.  By being engrossed in that person and the present situation, there is a higher probability you will have a heightened sense of empathy and understanding, thus be able to tap into tools that will improve care.

By practicing mindfulness in caregiving, the benefits go far beyond improving care.  The stress reduction benefits the caregiver as much or more than the care receiver.  When this happens, everyone wins! Like anything else, mindfulness must be practiced.  Nothing becomes second nature until it is put into regular use.  If deep breathing exercises  works, then practice this throughout the day.  Journal the difference in how you are able to handle situations.  If brief moments of meditation work, try these… but do it every day and many times a day.

Centering ourselves through mindfulness allows us to accept that we are most often not in control, which is often a huge challenge for care partners.  We want so much to make our loved ones happy and healthy again, but this is sometimes not possible – certainly not all the time.  In a world that is always on full speed, with soaring expectations, sometimes the most valuable gift we can give our loved one is this:

“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute.  Passionate about creating transformative change for older adults and those that care for them,  Pam is honored to work in the field of caregiver education and training and lead the AGE-u-cate team who are changing lives with innovative programs for family and professional caregivers. 

www.AGEucate.com