Category Archives: The Family Caregiver

Why We Must ALL Build a Sphere of Senior Care

urban-parkThe dictionary describes a sphere a place or environment within which a person or thing exists;  a particular social world or stratum of society.  How does this relate to how we approach society’s challenges on caring for our seniors?

I’ve had the great privilege over the years of working with many organizations who serve older adults from community based organizations, churches, eldercare providers and more.  As an advocate for education and training and the needs of society to embrace our aging population and their needs, I see opportunities at every corner.   Building a sphere takes all of these organizations in a community to work together.  Make no mistake – we have BIG challenges ahead.

Baby boomers don’t want to admit it, but the march toward old age is upon us (I’m one of them, so including myself here!).   Collaboration and coordination at all levels within our local communities is a must for building a successful sphere of senior care.  None of us can do it alone.  To make this happen it takes:

  1.  Leadership and Visionaries – those people who see beyond today and know how to pull the champions together for a singular cause.
  2. Education – we vastly overestimate public’s knowledge of age related issues from preparing for old age to chronic illness, understanding services and how we can reach out to our elders and those who care for them.
  3. Teach compassion and understanding to our younger generation, allowing them the privilege of growing up to honor and care for older adults.  Include them not as a bystander, but rather as an integral link in the aging of our world.

Healthy spheres don’t just happen.  Now more than ever, we need to see the growth of rural, suburban and urban communities coming together to address the real issues of aging and how to build a sphere of senior care that ultimately will benefit all.

 

 

Senior Care – How Our Pets Teach Us Life Lessons

pet lossHow Losing A Pet Is Much Like Losing a Loved One

Our pets are like members of the family. Meet Sadie – our vivacious, furry family member pictured here at 3 months old. Labrador Retrievers at this age are a non-stop ball of energy. Leave a sock on the floor and it instantly becomes a pile of thread, or a new game of hide and seek. Strangers? I don’t think Sadie ever knew that word existed. Water? That’s meant for swimming.. endlessly.

Sadie was, as my son described her, the MVP of campers. In fact, our treasured family camping trips centered around Sadie. Will there be a lake or hiking trails? And Sadie always chose where and with whom she wanted to sleep at any given time. Since our activities centered around what Sadie would enjoy, it made things easy. She loved EVERYTHING about camping, especially being with us and meeting new friends. Sadie would always introduce herself to our camping neighbors. She would sometimes wander off to explore new trails, strange critters, and/or new scents but she always came back to her family because she loved us and she knew she was the queen bee.

Saying good-bye to Sadie

With the whole family present and a lot of tears, we had to have Sadie laid to rest last week. At over 14, she was in ill health; despite pain medications and other palliative measures, it was clear that every day was a struggle for her to get around. And while she couldn’t tell us what parts of her body were failing her, we could sense growing discomfort and complications taking place. Up to the very last second of her life, Sadie never stopped pouring out her boundless love and certainly relished the affection and trust we shared. Our relationship over the years was a bond that encircled our lives. Even as our children grew up and left home, that bond would be rekindled in an instant with Sadie when they came home to visit.

How pets teach us about life

Pets are soulful creatures that teach us about the importance of trusting relationships, comfort, touch, playfulness, love of nature and so much more. These traits never left Sadie.. not even when she was at the end of life. These intact abilities remain for us humans as we age. There are many good websites that deal with the loss of a beloved pet.  Here is a good blog that deals with pet grieving. It talks about pets in a very human way.

 

Dementia Care: How to Make Magic Connections

Dementia care magic-wandWhen visiting someone with dementia, be ready for anything. Things can change day- to- day, even moment- to- moment in dementia care. A little preparation can go a long way to help create a positive experience in dementia care. Have a “magic bag” ready that you can pull things out of that may reach through the dementia to the person inside.

The magic begins by interacting with all the senses. Though some senses may have diminished from effects of dementia, other senses may still be sharp. In previous posts, we suggested pictures or items to bring back memories. There’s memory magic in senses beyond just vision.

The key to creating magic is to learn what the person did in the past or what was happening in the era that they grew up in, and then recreate sensory experiences to evoke memories.

Sound magic is not limited to just music. You can find recorded sounds of just about anything online, especially on Youtube. Here are a few favorite examples.

Familiar sounds often help to recall memories and evoke emotions and stories are sure to follow.

Touch magic is made with texture of familiar things from a person’s life. Present different textures of things such as fruits, fabrics, sand, beans, string/yarn, seashells, leaves, doll babies, tools, engines, aprons. Explore with many objects to discover which ones bring comfort or trigger memories.

If your magic bag contains objects to see, hear and touch, you’ll be equipped to conjure special moments. Care partners become detectives as we look for pieces of life. Because you never know what that one thing will be that reaches a forgotten piece. The magic happens while taking the journey together.

Caregiver – Ask for Advice and Opinions

caregiverFamily members and professionals alike struggle with how to interact with a person living with the bewildering condition of dementia. As a caregiver, it’s easy to forget that this person can often answer and follow much more of a conversation than given credit for.

These are two “magic phrases” that many times will get the person’s attention and foster meaningful interaction: “Would you help me with this?” and “I need your help”. Individuals still long for a sense of purpose and when engaged in this way, he/she indeed feels that they are still a part of things.

We all feel valued and respected when asked to give advice or to help with something. As a caregiver, we feel we matter. The same is still true for people with dementia. Although the advice or help may or may not be quite on track, they will notice that we asked and are willing to listen to them. The same feelings of value and respect remain.

Actually, more times than not, I’m surprised by the response that tells me the person not only knows what I’m talking about, but offers spot–on insight. I saw this first-hand when I recently visited my brother who has mid stage dementia. I was lamenting, mostly to myself, that I will be turning 60. I said, out loud, “Sixty! How did this happen?” Without missing a beat my brother replied, “Well, we grow older every year and wiser and then it just comes around to that.” I was shocked and it made me smile. I was given a reminder that he was still with me.

So, next time you are at a loss for how to connect, you might say, “Tell me your thoughts on…” (Recipes, a favorite season, songs, politics, or anything about just plain life). See what gems, humor, and stories you discover. The person with dementia will thank you for it.