Category Archives: Family Caregiver

The Remarkable Australian Men’s Shed Association

Pam Brandon introduces the Indooroopilly Men’s Shed in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

On my recent travels to the beautiful country of Australia, one of the highlights of my trip was my visit to the Indooroopilly Men’s Shed,  one of many such sheds throughout the country.

The Australian Men’s Shed Association (AMSA) is the peak body supporting almost 1000 Men’s Sheds and is recognized as one of Australia’s largest male based community development organizations.

Founded in 2007, AMSA is funded by the Federal Department of Health to provide practical support to Men’s Sheds and deliver a wide range of services. It aims to improve the health and wellbeing of members and reduce the number of men who are at risk from preventable health issues that may emanate from isolation.

Tour the Indooroopilly Men’s Shed with host David Silcox

Through collaboration and strategic partnerships with national, state, territory and health related community services such as beyondblue, Heart Foundation, Department of Veteran Affairs, Cancer Council, AMSA has developed a range of resources and delivered a variety of national initiatives such as “Spanner in the Works?”, a men’s health project.

Tour of the Indooroopilly Men’s Shed with host David SilcoxTheir tagline reads “Shoulder to Shoulder”.   Research points to the fact that men communicate with others side-to-side, while women are more inclined to communicate face to face.

Sociologist Harry Brod surmises that the side-by-side shoulder orientation is a way for men to seek intimacy. “Numerous studies have established that men are more likely to define emotional closeness as working or playing side-by-side, while women often view it as talking face-to-face. Men, for example, derive intimacy from playing and watching sports.”

Through the activities and programs offered at the Men’s Shed, it promotes healthy aging, reduces risk of depression, isolation and chronic illness that are often associated with aging adults, especially men.

The objectives of the Indooroopilly Men’s Shed in Queensland include:

  • Advance the health and well-being of members.
  • Promote men’s health programs.
  • Identify and nurture innovative ideas and activities for men.
  • Encourage men with widely varying skills.
  • Pursue hobbies, pastimes and interests.
  • Learn new skills and practice and pass on old skills.
  • Learn about their own and other men’s health and well-being.
  • By their efforts contribute to their families, their friends, the Sed and the wider community.
  • Mentor younger men.
  • Promote members’ empathy for fellow men.
  • Enhance personal and group self-esteem and pride in accomplishments.
  • Foster members’ interest in and assistance to the local community.

For more information visit www.mensshed.org

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older adults and those that serve them.

www.AGEucate.com

Please Don’t Forget the Hot Fudge Sundae… and other Dining Tips

As my mother’s Parkinson’s Disease progressed,  it was very apparent that food and the mealtime experience became more important to her.  So much so, that I remember saying “Mom’s still finds joy in yummy food”.  That said, her “yummy” was not always the healthiest, but we wanted her to be happy.  We knew that healthy foods were important, but probably not as important  as the joy of witnessing her with excitement dig in to a chocolate fudge sundae with extra whipped cream.  Now THAT was a  quality dining experience!

At some point, certain foods either don’t appeal to older adults due to medications, loss of taste sensation or because it becomes too hard to chew and swallow.   Finding the balance between “healthy” and “joy” hits home as we see our loved ones world get smaller and they have less to look forward to on a daily basis.  The dining experience to us was wherever it happened to take place.  That might be at the dining table,  sitting up in bed, or relaxing on the patio.   As a family we expected that experience to include:

  • Food that was visually appealing – a colorful mix and variety on the plate.  Too much food turned her off, and she would simply push it away.  So less was always better.  If she wanted more she would ask for it
  • A relaxing environment with minimal chatter and over-stimulating noises, especially TV
  • One or two people to engage with while eating.  Much more than that and it became to distracting and we noticed she would eat less
  • Foods that were easy to pick up with fork and spoon, easy to chew and swallow.  That meant small pieces, fish instead of meat, pasta that could be picked up easily with a fork (spaghetti noodles were a disaster!), and food within easy reach
  • Condiments and spices nearby that she could ask for you embellish her food and someone to help her with this
  • Never EVER forget the dessert

Whether your loved one is living at home or in a community based setting, the environment in which they are eating , the details of how the food is presented and ease of eating as independently as possible is very important.  It can be one of their few joys in life, so pay attention to the the little things, because they often so important.  Instead of looking at it as a chore, what a difference it would make if it were viewed as an experience.

And please don’t forget the hot fudge sundae…

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute and a  passionate advocate for older adults and their caregivers.  

www.AGEucate.com

Shifting Gears…What Might Happen if We Try Something New!

I have always been a proponent that if something is just not working well, shifting gears may be a solution.  Let’s face it – everything is changing fast these days, so much so that it seems as if technology  leads the pack in shifting gears at every juncture of our daily lives.

Shifting gears often is related to moving from one level of activity to another;  taking on a new course or direction that results in change.  And hopefully that change is positive.  

Elder care today is more and more becoming about caring for someone with dementia.  Why the shift?  Because we’re living longer and the reason so many more people are getting dementia is simply for that reason – as we age the probability of cognitive impairments increases.  So, if we shift gears in terms of thinking about elder care in terms of caring for someone with some level of cognitive impairment, could care for that person change… for the better?

Most certainly our focus as a nation and world is clearly focused on dementia care as the public health crisis of our generation.  Because of this, there has never before been such a concerted effort in shifting gears to new models of care, most often referred to as person-centered or patient-centered care.

Will shifting gears alone be the impetus for deep culture change?  Certainly those of us passionately advocating for vast changes in care for our older adults and those that serve them hope that enough of us will collectively make a difference.  By bringing the human side of caregiving to the forefront, rather than taking a secondary role to the medical model of care, change can certainly be deep and wide.

This shift in gears requires a shift in our thinking.  Taking a new course means taking risks, accepting that not every decision is going to be the right one, and that it is a continual process of trying new approaches until outcomes improve for everyone, especially those we are caring for.

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute.  AGE-u-cate develops and delivers aging and dementia education for professional and family caregivers that results in transformative change.  

www.AGEucate.com

 

How Can we Avoid and All-Out Family Feud over Mom’s Teapot?

I was very fortunate, for  when my sweet mom passed, no one else asked for “the teapot”.  It wasn’t particularly pretty, and certainly of no monetary value.  But to me it was priceless reminder of the tender moments we had together to talk about an endless number of topics that mothers and daughters share. Often accompanied by a scrumptious homemade sweet, we always had back-up favorites in the freezer so we were never without an accompaniment for our favorite Bigelows “Constant Comment”.   When we weren’t chatting and sipping, we would often play a quick game of Yahtzee, Gin Rummy or in latter years, our absolute favorite go- to game,   Rumikub.

Being the last of 5 girls, I suppose Mom had more time for girl time than the businesses of her earlier life.  The teapot symbolized was our shared, sacred time together that will always be treasured.

What happens when those special items are sought after by more than one family member?  All too often, that’s when the family fireworks erupt.  Surrounding that item may be emotional and sentimental feelings that a person (s) may long to hold onto.  There is nothing wrong with this… unless there is one item and multiple people who want it!

How can we avoid World War III?  As I remind aging parents, especially those who are downsizing or contemplating who gets what of the family heirlooms, you do have options in passing on your personal belongings.

The safest way (in terms of avoiding family feuds) is to gift it while you can make the decision to do so.  Talking to various family members about what they would like also helps narrow the choices.  Our parents lovingly started putting names on items that one of the children or grandchildren has requested along the way.  Of course, it was their decision, but for the most part, they did this fairly and with thought put into why the family member wanted certain items.  Most were tied to memorable occasions, special trips or life events which included that person.

When it came time for the “major downsizing” when they moved to a retirement community, for all other items, some which has value, my mom created a well thought-out lottery which had items grouped by approximate value.  We were each given an option to choose one from each category.  For the most part, this execution of non-titled property was brilliant!  They knew who was getting what, and each child was the recipient had at least one top item of the various groups.   My parents were happy to lighten their load, and us kids were thankful for the opportunity to be a part of the process, knowing both our wishes had  been fulfilled.

My parents also enjoyed many years of seeing their treasured things in our homes, knowing they no longer had to care for them or worry about what would happen to them when they passed.

Does this plan always work?  I can tell you most certainly that no it does not.   Maybe because no one wanted to part with the “stuff”, children couldn’t agree on anything, so parents gave up, or the topic was never broached.  There are many other reasons, like sudden illness, estrangement or unfortunately and sadly, children that announce they want nothing of their parents.  Personally, I think this is not very compassionate.  Many of our parents came from the depression-era, and they worked very hard to acquire what they had, and for the most part, these items were treasured, as it was before everything on the planet could be mass or re-produced at a fraction of the cost.

When I talk with families, I often ask what they are gaining, except hurt feelings, by wincing at the idea of taking mom’s “junk”.   Instead, encourage and even help your parents inventory their belongings, asking what they would like to keep and what items they would like to pass on now.  These treasures make wonderfully thoughtful birthday and holiday gifts, and with some coaching and ideas of how to creatively get this often insurmountable task done, take it one step at a time.

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate Training Institute, a passionate advocate for older adults and those that serve them.  

www.AGEucate.com