Tag Archives: caregiving

Infection Control and Expressive Touch: We Can Have Both

July 15, 2019 Julie Boggess 5 Comments

The healing benefit of expressive touch is lacking in the lives of older adults.

The topic of infection control almost always enters the conversation when I deliver Compassionate Touch training. This training teaches caregivers the skill of expressive touch.

Hand, back, and foot rubs used to be a part of the care process. Seasoned nurses consistently confirm this fact. In contrast, newer nurses and nursing assistants report that expressive touch was not a part of their training.

This lays the foundation to discuss the reasons why older, frail adults lack expressive touch in their lives.

Glove Culture and Expressive Touch

Infection control is consistently cited by skilled nursing employees as a reason for the lack of expressive touch in the lives of older adults. Furthermore, employees fear citations from surveyors for not using gloves.

Megan J. DiGiorgio, MSN, RN, CIC, FAPIC coins the phrase “glove culture”. In addition to the wasteful use of resources, the over-use of gloves increases disconnection and a lack of trust in caregivers, among other negative outcomes.

Burdsall, Deborah Patterson, MSN, Ph.D., identified situations that require the use of gloves. Touching intact, non-infectious skin of older adults in healthcare settings does not require gloves.

Skilled nursing caregivers do expressively touch their residents. Indeed, holding a hand or giving a hug communicates how much we care and provides comfort. We can incorporate more of this excellent medicine of expressive touch in our caregiving practices and still uphold infection prevention standards.

Gloves are not used with Compassionate Touch techniques. I urge those I am teaching to resist the temptation. The benefits of touch would be lost for both the resident and care provider.

Consider evaluating the extent to which gloves are used in your community and understand the unintended consequences. Even more, it seems like this would be a worthwhile QAPI project.

Julie has worked in Aging Services for over 30 years and has been a Licensed Nursing Home Administrator since 1990. She is a Certified Master Trainer with the AGE-u-cate Training Institute. Through her company Enlighten Eldercare, she provides training and educational programs on elder caregiving to private and professional caregivers. She is an instructor and the Interim Director of Gerontology at Northern Illinois University and lives in the Chicago Northwest Suburb of Mount Prospect, IL.

Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

Did Your Know that Practicing Gratitude Can Actually Improve Your Health and Well Being

May 6, 2019 Pam Brandon Leave a comment

Don’t you enjoy being around people who are naturally grateful? Can we cultivate an attitude of gratefulness ourselves? Of course, we can! Practicing gratitude not only is good for our souls but can improve our health and well- being.

Let’s look at some research:

A study in the J ournal of Applied Psychology, it was concluded that subjects who wrote down what they’re thankful for just before bed fell asleep faster and stayed asleep longer.
A University of Utah study showed that gratefulness is linked with optimism, and optimism has been linked to a better and stronger immune system.
A 1995 study in the American Journal of Cardiology showed that appreciation and positive emotions may be beneficial in the treatment of hypertension and in reducing the likelihood of sudden death in patients with congestive heart failure and coronary artery disease.
A 2003 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gratitude can boost pro-social behaviors, such as helping and lending emotional support to others, while a series of experiments detailed in the same journal concluded that a daily practice of listing all the things for which you are thankful is linked with a brighter outlook on life and a greater sense of positivity.

Like other good habits, practicing gratitude can be learned – at any age! Here are a few suggestions for fostering gratitude in your life.

Keep a gratitude journal where you write down specifically what you are thankful for. You’ll be amazed at how long your list becomes with a regular habit of journal writing.
Take a break a few times a day to focus on a spirit of thankfulness. It might be a moment of meditation, prayer or walk in the garden. Just slowing down for a moment to think about the things in your life that you are thankful for will become a habit of practicing gratitude.
Surround yourself with thankful people! This may sound simple, but gratitude is contagious and being around people who are practicing gratitude will naturally be a mood lifter.
Share with others what you are thankful for. It will not only help you in practicing gratitude but will also reinforce your feelings and inspire others.

Like any habit, gratitude gets easier with daily practice. Let today be the first day of your healthy, grateful life!

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older adults and those who serve them. Please let me know if you this is helpful!

Faith Community, Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

When to Say Yes and How to Say No – Creating Healthy Boundaries

February 19, 2019 Pam Brandon Leave a comment

Caregivers are a unique group of people. Naturally nurturing and compassionate, such empathetic traits can also lead to complex challenges. Creating healthy boundaries is especially tough when you are the type of person that wants to help. Learning when to say yes and how to say no is essential for caregivers to stay physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Before I jump into my tips, tools, and suggestions, I’d like to share a story. It relates to boundary setting and caregivers who merely do too much for their well-being. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll refer to this person as Susan, whom I met with over the course of several years while facilitating a caregiver support group many years ago. Susan’s mom, Jean, lived in her own home about 20 miles from Susan. Jean’s husband had passed away five years earlier, and Jean never dealt with her grief and worked through the healing process. Her husband’s death left Jean depressed and angry. She no longer socialized with friends and extended family, was not keeping up with responsibilities of home ownership, and was not addressing her health issues. Jean was showing signs of cognitive decline.

Susan, who was her primary caregiver, had a demanding job which required some travel and many hours. She had talked to her mom many times about moving to a senior community, where she would not have the responsibilities of keeping up her house and would once again be able to enjoy the company of others. Jean would not hear of it.

Instead, Jean relied solely on Susan to take care of home repairs and expected Susan to visit during the week and spend almost every Saturday with her. Susan’s marriage was suffering, as her husband felt as if her mom had taken over their life.

Susan loved her mother but knew that she was collapsing from the weight of being everything to her. She knew that as long as her mom refused to move into a care community, that the situation was only going to become more overwhelming.

When we discussed boundaries, Susan broke down in tears. She had read about the importance of creating healthy boundaries in relationships, and especially when one is caregiving for an older adult. She didn’t know how to solve the problems she had with her mother.

Creating healthy boundaries allow us to take care of ourselves first so that we can enjoy healthy relationships with others. When caregiving, it is especially important to step back and ask the following questions regularly:

When I say “yes” to something that has been asked of me, how does it make me feel? In other words, is saying yes causing stress or feelings of anxiety? If so, this is a sign that perhaps you are saying ‘yes’ to requests that you should be instead learning how to say ‘no’.
By saying ‘yes,’ what are you giving up? Is it time away from others that you love or maybe time away from being with yourself doing such things as reading, meeting with friends, exercising or other activities that you find joy in doing?
Does a “yes” put me in a position of having to choose between people whom I love and care for and does it make me feel conflicted?
What would happen if I say NO? Think about the consequences (or choices) that would have to be made? Are you willing to lovingly say ‘no’ even though it may cause hurt feelings? (I hope the answer to that is a YES!)

Creating healthy boundaries is not easy, and in fact, may cause hurt feelings. It’s also essential to preserving your health and well-being. Caregivers cannot be all things to all people, no matter what the circumstance. Moreover, if you continually say ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’ it will inevitably lead to enormous resentment with the person for whom you are caring.

During our time together, Susan did help her mom through the move to a senior care community. Her mom wasn’t happy and continually played with Susan’s emotions by making her feel guilty for not being there as often and saying that she hated the food and they she hadn’t made friends. Surprisingly (or not so!) when Susan talked with the staff, they told Jean seemed to enjoy many activities and ate at almost every meal. They did not see an unhappy resident.

With coaching, Susan was able to lose some of her guilt, spend more time with her husband, and learned to set boundaries when her mother tried to break down the fence. After a fairly rough three months, Jean has acclimated to her new home, Susan and her husband have taken a trip, and Susan even learned how to set boundaries with her job!

Creating healthy boundaries is not easy, but it is essential and will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself and those whom you love.

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate® Training Institute and a passionate advocate for older adults and those who serve them. She is the creator of the internationally recognized Dementia Live® simulation and empathy training program; pam@ageucate.com

Faith Community, Family Caregiver, Senior Care Professionals

How Can we Avoid and All-Out Family Feud over Mom’s Teapot?

October 3, 2017 Pam Brandon Leave a comment

I was very fortunate, for when my sweet mom passed, no one else asked for “the teapot”. It wasn’t particularly pretty, and certainly of no monetary value. But to me it was priceless reminder of the tender moments we had together to talk about an endless number of topics that mothers and daughters share. Often accompanied by a scrumptious homemade sweet, we always had back-up favorites in the freezer so we were never without an accompaniment for our favorite Bigelows “Constant Comment”. When we weren’t chatting and sipping, we would often play a quick game of Yahtzee, Gin Rummy or in latter years, our absolute favorite go- to game, Rumikub.

Being the last of 5 girls, I suppose Mom had more time for girl time than the businesses of her earlier life. The teapot symbolized was our shared, sacred time together that will always be treasured.

What happens when those special items are sought after by more than one family member? All too often, that’s when the family fireworks erupt. Surrounding that item may be emotional and sentimental feelings that a person (s) may long to hold onto. There is nothing wrong with this… unless there is one item and multiple people who want it!

How can we avoid World War III? As I remind aging parents, especially those who are downsizing or contemplating who gets what of the family heirlooms, you do have options in passing on your personal belongings.

The safest way (in terms of avoiding family feuds) is to gift it while you can make the decision to do so. Talking to various family members about what they would like also helps narrow the choices. Our parents lovingly started putting names on items that one of the children or grandchildren has requested along the way. Of course, it was their decision, but for the most part, they did this fairly and with thought put into why the family member wanted certain items. Most were tied to memorable occasions, special trips or life events which included that person.

When it came time for the “major downsizing” when they moved to a retirement community, for all other items, some which has value, my mom created a well thought-out lottery which had items grouped by approximate value. We were each given an option to choose one from each category. For the most part, this execution of non-titled property was brilliant! They knew who was getting what, and each child was the recipient had at least one top item of the various groups. My parents were happy to lighten their load, and us kids were thankful for the opportunity to be a part of the process, knowing both our wishes had been fulfilled.

My parents also enjoyed many years of seeing their treasured things in our homes, knowing they no longer had to care for them or worry about what would happen to them when they passed.

Does this plan always work? I can tell you most certainly that no it does not. Maybe because no one wanted to part with the “stuff”, children couldn’t agree on anything, so parents gave up, or the topic was never broached. There are many other reasons, like sudden illness, estrangement or unfortunately and sadly, children that announce they want nothing of their parents. Personally, I think this is not very compassionate. Many of our parents came from the depression-era, and they worked very hard to acquire what they had, and for the most part, these items were treasured, as it was before everything on the planet could be mass or re-produced at a fraction of the cost.

When I talk with families, I often ask what they are gaining, except hurt feelings, by wincing at the idea of taking mom’s “junk”. Instead, encourage and even help your parents inventory their belongings, asking what they would like to keep and what items they would like to pass on now. These treasures make wonderfully thoughtful birthday and holiday gifts, and with some coaching and ideas of how to creatively get this often insurmountable task done, take it one step at a time.

Pam Brandon is President/Founder of AGE-u-cate Training Institute, a passionate advocate for older adults and those that serve them.